Since there is an ongoing debate about women demanding an equal status in the society and their willingness to compete with men at every platform, let’s grill the matter of this “equality” hype in Pakistan. Being a student and now a professional, I do see men raising valid points about women equality struggle. One of the most basic arguments that they put forward is regarding women’s hypocrisy when they demand equality. Would they be willing to wait in line like men do, will they stay back till 1 a.m. in office, why do they feel offended when a man doesn’t stand up to give her space to sit? Why equality in terms of pay only, why equality in terms of dressing only, why equality in terms of independence? If women demand equality, then it shouldn’t be subjective to their own convenience! Actually, they are right and wrong at the same time.
They are right when they say that the female demand for equality is subjective to convenience and according to their own fairytale wish list. They want to be treated like princesses, but also be seen like mature, strong independent women. They are striving for the image of a “mature baby” that itself is a confused identity to strive for. I think, I have seen girls like that, they are in dichotomy as to what they want. But not all of them face this internal conflict. So before generalizing them some facts need to be revised. At this point understanding the concept of equality is crucial.
I can understand a women’s concept of equality and freedom. When a woman strives for equality, she is not competing with men. Not because she cannot, but there is no need of doing it. No one can do a better job of being a woman than herself. Then what is this equality struggle for! Women demand for equality stems from the very basic rights to live. Every individual, regardless of their gender has a right to put forward their opinion, they have a right to live, they have a right to dream. The problem arises when a woman starts dreaming of making her own identity. The indigestible fact that once she makes her mark, people will know her by her name and not as someone’s wife or someone’s daughter doesn’t fit well in the society like ours. We therefore crush her dreams to become an independent professional by making her independent in all the aspects of life.
If she is dying to be independent and wanted to be treated as equal than here she goes, she must stand in the bus, wait in queues, open the doors; why does she want a man to be a “gentlemen” and do it for her? Well, a man should only behave like a gentleman for a dependent woman! Does being independent make her less of a woman and therefore shouldn’t demand for a respect generally given to women in our society.
Women are becoming less girlish, they speak the layman’s language, they want to go out and party, they have problems with being answerable all the time. But this doesn’t distort the individuality of genders. This is just a change in dynamics where women want to reveal their inner spirit. Rather than pretending to be shy, timid and dumb they are ready to show how responsible, smart and confident they are. Rather than family politics they want to be part of world politics, they want to be a part of their country’s human resource, they want to give their contribution to the economy.
Her struggle for equality is her own and I don’t think she is struggling to compete with men. Yes, if in an organization she needs a promotion and competing with a man in that space I don’t think it’s a competition between genders, it is competition between employees.We need to realize that just because now a girl dreams to be a professional, wants to wear jeans or a suit, after marriage she wants to pursue her career means she is trying to compete with men or this makes her less of a women than some serious revision is needed. There is no book stating the fact that only men can work. As far as Islamic teaching goes, a man and women are equal already regardless of the fact that she is dependent or independent, sane or insane, so the struggle ends, if a guy thinks there is any.
Proud should be our nation where such women are standing up. It needs courage to change the dynamics, it needs bravery to change the norm. They are increasing their scope of responsibilities and one should respect it, appreciate it and be proud of it.
