A few days earlier, I was assigned a task by one of my teachers, to help one of my class mates, with completion of her assignment. Since, our classes have ended and practically no assignments or pending write-ups were left, I was surprised to know that the assignment in question was none other than the final one that was to be submitted in the start of the month. While my teacher informed me that the class mate has to be helped any ways, as it is integral to getting his degree, I wondered the reasons for the delay. The clue, for the reason was to come next in our discussion; I was informed that the class mate was having trouble with the writing part and was unable to write down her report effectively owing to inadequate grip on vocabulary and language. Although, he was asked to take help from the friends, he refused blatantly, citing that he does not like telling his problems to others. As the results were at stake, he somehow agreed to take help and get the thing completed.
I decided upon helping him, but out of curiosity asked him why he so loathes at the idea of taking help from friends and letting them know his problems. And I was flabbergasted with what came next. His words:
“Apne problems strangers ko batana galat hai, sahi nahi hota, log faida uthate hain, main apko advice karunga k aap bhi naa bataye”
My Gosh!! Why in the god’s name will anyone take an advantage of your problems?
Ok, alright! Probably the so called ‘strangers’ would talk about your being a cry baby or comment that you are not strong to care for yourself. Some might even pity you. But then again, do we really go on gaga-ing our problems to strangers?
No we don’t and most of us would agree. Neither are we processed to go on telling our issues to others and nor are we accustomed to the same.
Being humans we have been used to living with others, one cannot simply live in isolation. Right from advent of fire to scientific discoveries to aeronautical experiments, seclusion has never been the key, the real key has been team work and sharing the ideas you have.
So when it comes to opening the Pandora box and keeping your heart out, how can one not go and let others know what really resides in the heart?
Psychologists in Pakistan cite that approximately 34% of the Pakistanis suffer from Depression, and one of the reasons given is social isolation. So much so that the isolation may lead to having negative thoughts and attempting suicide. They also report that the culture that we are born and brought up in is one of the basic factors not letting us approach someone and let them know the problems we face. And thus leads to depression.
The need is to have open discussions and bringing out those nagging matters out to be solved. The matters range from relationship problems to inability of sharing the feelings. And the problem with all of these problems is that they do not come as single balls, but they come altogether from all sides of the pitch waiting to be struck away.
There isn’t any quick-fix potion that is going to overcome that all nor is there any magic waiting to happen to take those bits away. The feeling that the fate is pushing you to your limits is not the answer too.
The only one responsible for them and responsible to solve then is you. You have to ramble forward and tell the problem to someone to have it finished. Yes no one can ever take anyone’s problems away but they can help minimize the burden weighing you down.
The widely said fact is, “If I will share my issues I would lose my dignity and value in their eyes and I would be belittled, they would never love me again”. Aren’t the loved ones there to take your problems away? It is their love that will see no boundaries and go to any lengths to let your burdens be put off. And that is how it all works. That little emotional support from your friend, brother, mother or an uncle is going to take you a long way.
Our problems are never going to end and at times we are unable to handle them alone. One cannot simply have another view of what’s brewing when the only thing that comes to mind is the negativity about it all. So, don’t wait, go, let your trusted friend give you the helping hand and pull you out of the well. You will be astonished to feel your shoulders all lightened and free of weight.
