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It is OK for men to cry!

Crying is a normal natural human response to sadness and loss but our society sometimes sees crying as a weakness.

Due to the very reason, it is conditioned out of boys at a young age as they are encouraged ‘not to be a cry baby’, often receiving ridicule and being shamed if they express their sadness or loss.

Most of the men whom I have worked with do not feel free to express how they feel, because it was not something that was discouraged when they were children.

 

Whereas women will very often sit down and start talking about their feelings and their difficulties, men find it more difficult to know where to start, how to navigate the rough and unpredictable terrain of emotions, and how to tolerate the distress that often comes from allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

We usually cry when we get stressed.

There are basically two kinds of stress , good stress and bad stress.

Both types of stress are basically the same only good stress, such as watching your team win, is short lived because we release the energy around those feelings.

After bad stress, such as getting fired or personal tragedy, crying is a release of the stress being carried in the body.

If not released in some way, stress can cause physical disorders including heart, stomach, liver, and kidney disease and emotional disorders including depression, post traumatic stress, suicide idealization, and much more.

With no healthy release of the bad stress, it’s also common to see the tough, aggressive type of people, most often men, and their behavioral disorders.

We tell boys not to cry, then wonder about rise in the number of suicides or males turning to substance abuse

The social stigma used against an entire gender is one that causes emotional and mental damage among the males that it effects.

Men are forced to bottle up their feelings and this causes emotional deficiencies such as depression or anger issues. No person should subject to suppress their feelings because it makes them look non-cool that’s just unfair.

They have been hearing

“Be strong!”

“Toughen up!”

“Don’t cry

We never said that, “Let it out! It’s okay to cry! You are human too!”….

 

In simple terms, the greater we push for males to project a ‘fearless’ persona in a society, the greater the chances that in individual cases that push will culminate in a higher crime rate.

Sometimes men who don’t cry want to make women cry.

In their tears, they find a reflection of their own power.

Even if we talk about Pakistani television dramas, “that mirror of our culture’s evolution”, woman is crying, a man is yelling, slapping and being generally domineering.

Often, since one is the cause of the other, they appear in close conjunction.

Crying women and cruel men are merely opposing sides of the same coin. So there is a message for the mothers that teach your sons that it is okay to cry so that daughters would no longer to cry.

Men are killing themselves because of stress, depression, anxiety, an inability to communicate their issues with other people and to find help through their problems.

They feel, and quite often are, helpless.

Nobody wants to help them because they are supposed to be able to help themselves.

We should learn not to joke about a sensitive man, and don’t treat them like aliens if they are crying sometimes.

The most important thing is if someone confides you with their problem, don’t try to underestimate the issue!

Listen to them, make them feel that they are not alone, and you are here for them, because this is the best you can do.

Crying and expressing your emotions is healthy.

It’s time to open the floodgates.

Its time for men to give up emulating the stone-faced heroes of action movies and be more like the emotive heroes.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are solely of the author and do not represent ARY policies or opinion.