Eight life lessons I learnt after motherhood
The college and university days of my life dreaming about my career and other goals got secondary since I became a mom.
It’s been such a roller coaster of sentiments and emotions not forgetting the adjustments and body changes.
It includes some failed expectations, few harsh realities and little painful moments. Despite all this, motherhood comes with a beautiful meaning and it changes you like never before. For all those initial years of your kids, you as a mom really want to prioritize kids only.
Motherhood is joyous and tiring at the same time. It makes you strong and weak.
Giving birth to kids doesn’t make you a mom but fulfilling the responsibility of rearing kind, principled and responsible human beings makes you a mother in true sense.
To celebrate being a mother for last seven years, I decided to compile the lessons I learnt during this ongoing journey. I am sure this would resonate with all the mothers and everyone can relate and say we are all together in this.
Nothing can prepare you
No matter how much lessons, advices or researches you do, motherhood would surprise you like never before.
You can’t prepare for motherhood 100 percent and say: I am ready. throw it on me.
Sleep deprivation is like never before and it is real. It is unlike anything you have experienced before.
I remember weeping for once when my 7 days daughter was not sleeping and it was 5:30 am. My whole body was aching and I was exhausted. My mother and my mother in law have been my major support systems during those times.
Don’t go for perfection
I have been extremely organized and have done most of things in my life almost perfectly. My mantra for life (Do it with all your heart flawlessly or don’t do it) got de-shaped after I had my kids.
No baby comes with everything perfect. He/she might have allergies, colic issues or any kind of infections. No matter how protective you are, your kid can catch any health problem.
In the same way, his nature may be different and you as a mother definitely have to work hard on your kids to make them good human beings.
Let it go
Expect the unexpected. Anticipate the unanticipated.
Yes! You can’t control everything. You make your kids ready for an official dinner and right when you are about to leave, your kid is here with a dirty diaper and stains on new clothes.
Your kid doesn’t like any particular food item and right when you would serve the same item to guests, your kid would gulp that like he has seen that for the very first time in his life.
Tip: Submit in the area of control. You have to let go and embrace this chaos. Remember, kids do things their own way sometimes. They take time to understand.
Spouse may/ may not be a great parent
Life changes when a woman becomes a mother. Don’t expect your spouse to transform like you changed. Don’t compare your husband to any father who takes care of kids better.
Remind yourself that women are naturally better at some things. Your spouse might be better at something else.
PS: Look for a support system keep yourself sane.
No-one-size-fits-all ways of parenting
Every parent and every kid is different. Certain rules could be universal but every child is different and blessed differently. Don’t try to apply same rule to every kid. Listen to their needs.
Savour all the moments
You think you couldn’t achieve high career because of your kids, you have changed and left yourself at the backdoor. This might be true but for some years only.
Try to enjoy and relish all the moments with your kids. They will outgrow you soon and then you would have ample time for yourself. Right now, enjoy their innocence, silly talks and playtime.
You are kinda badass
A mother gives birth, feeds and grows a baby. How could she be less of a badass. Don’t listen to people who criticize or taunt your parenting style.
You are a mother and you definitely know better what is good or bad for your kids. Don’t let people label you as strict, bad or typical mother.
Be comfortable and proud of yourself. Don’t let anyone else dictate your kids.
No mom is perfect
I am by no means a mom expert.
But I do think I have learned a lot in these seven years. Motherhood teaches you a lot and we all mothers have something to learn from each other. We all inspire each other. There is no term as a perfect mom but every mom has perfected in some of her ways and hacks to tackle and grow kids.
You realize the worth of your mother, once you become a mother yourself. Since motherhood is a constant call to be on your feet, to deal with the challenges and to learn something new every day, a grownup adult still means a kid to his/her mother.
Shout out to all the beautiful mothers who are doing an incredible job every day, every hour and every minute.
You all are amazing! Happy mother’s day.