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A Run on the mill

Couple of months ago a video went viral all around the world in which a lady was walking inside a city and she was awarded with multiple acts of harassment. The video has raised a question mark. Especially for self declared safe heaven of gender equality and working women rights maker. The alarming thing is that the video was not recorded in any third world country but infact it happened in so called developed and civilized state of USA. The question has now aroused that “when gold itself rusts, what iron shall do”

A woman has lost a lot more than what she has earned in Dual career family. Her sacrifice for a Win-Win situation has ended up in a Zero-sum game. In a race of getting well and support to the family, she faces non profitable trade off when she is rewarded with family disputes, husband jealousy, laziness of partner, breakage of marriages, child’s ill nourishment and their hatred.

A working woman is always in trouble no matter if she lives in Joint or Nuclear family system in Pakistan. In joint families she always struggle for meeting up to the criteria of grandparents and in laws’ expectations. If she works hard, she would be underestimated and if she tries much harder, she wont be praised. Ultimately it results in family disputes and separations. But women is least safe in getting rid of these obligations even in nuclear family because of her absolute hold and responsibility, she would be blamed solely for every problem.

Jealousy and envious of Nands, Jethanis and Dewranis create nonstop hurdles and issues regarding  the job for a woman. The situation gets more worse when a woman gets a better salary or position than her husband. In such cases, she has to face the dislikening and jealousy of her own husband, to whom’s support she might be working for.

A man gets lazy or starts gambling when he gets assurance of  monthly income in shape of his wife’s working. This creates an entire burden on women alone and she uplift it in order to survive. Her raised voice can either turn into beatings or sometimes result in breakage of her marriage.

Marriage breakages and divorces are common nowadays in dual career families. 2300 cases were registered in just first two months of 2014 in Lahore courts alone. In 2010, 40,410 cases in Lahore courts have been registered and 11,000 are still pending in up till now. Those who have survived from this menace are facing the castigate of sexual harassment.

Even Universities are not free from sexual harassment’s. What happened there is as it is happening with many working women at workplaces through unwanted touching, gestures and taunting. Strange thing is that in Pakistan, women are forced not to complaint about such happenings in order to save their own image. Such silence encourages more men to harass a woman.

Children are the biggest victims of dual career problems because they lost their parent’s attention. Once a famous columnist (Javed Chaudhry) quoted that he felt speechless by the reply of children of an old house living couple:

” our parents didn’t had time for us in our childhood, that’s why we are far now”.

It surely reflects that dual career families may get careers in the end but in actually they lose the most valuable wealth in shapes of children. An emotion of hating  starts developing in children when they always find parents unavailable in parent teacher meetings, annual day, fair wells etc due to their restrict schedules. Such scenarios result in dilution of the bond that a Mother holds with her children.

Now the question is, should women stop working? The answer does not fall under absolute “No” category. There are solutions.

Firstly, families should provide an utmost support that would double her capacity to manage her work at office and household after job timings.

Secondly, life partner’s key immense role is vital because his praising, flexibility and support are all that she strives for. He should treat her as his responsibility since Islam has made men obliged to take care their women.

Thirdly, flexible hours and on the job daycare centers should be enhanced for women by which they can easily take care of their children effectively.

Fourthly, media should also play its role in bringing the status of women back to respectable one and government should impose strict legislation for harassment cases.

Lastly, the golden guidelines of Islam should be followed. Umul Momineen Hazrat Khadija RA proved herself to be the most successful working women who kept the best work-life balance. The following of Pardah dimensions as per Islam can avoid most of the hassles and problems for women working.

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