Of New Beginnings and endless endings…….
A train passing through a tunnel is like that. Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, the certainty of light ending the darkness any minute and the slight dread of that not happening at all, a fear of leaving the familiar scenery behind.
As a child I loved new things be it a dress, a new toy, moving to a new house, everything new, At times I secretly wished for a new mother or a whole new family to appear out of no-where. It was the excitement of getting to discover the unknown, to smell the strange and foreign smells of new unused and and unaccustomed things, the mystery of a beginning, a curiosity and impatience to come to the end of it. All seemed so transitory, so ephemeral and fleeting and that in itself was a wonderful feeling, a feeling of eternal pleasure, when you know that moments and things aren't there forever.
Now; new things, beginnings, uncharted territories, strange shores, stranger people all scare me. They are the hounds that hound us, and scare us. New means unknown and unknown means unfamiliar which translates into realities that have no defined definitions by which we can address them and deal with them. I like the old now, the familiar, the mundane and the monotonous! keep the excitement I'l take the boring any day!!
And what about ends that remain endless? How do we tackle those? Whats the protocol here???? I'm stumped. How do we end things in life? Don't have the faintest clue. When and what point in time, exact nano-second does one thing end forever? even death isn't that precise, at least to me. The person is not there but all else lingers around you isn't it? For me people aren't that disposable, if they have been in your life and been a significant part of it they don't at a particular time just cease to be that, they remain endlessly part of your life and you.
Endless endings are just that……. endless….