DIPLOMAT – PAR EXCELLENCE: Chuadhry Nisar
Chuadhry Nisar, our most eminent and respectful, Interior Minister is usually the butt of jokes. One of the main ones doing the rounds is his keen resemblance to Mr. Bean, the foolishly irritating character of the comic series of the same name. Mr. Bean, can never do anything right. He is constantly in trouble and getting others in trouble as well. Need I say more? The resemblance doesn't end here. The facial resemblance is remarkable and the expression of utter stupidity which I assume is an excellent piece of acting is quite natural on part of our lovable (doubtful) Interior Minister. The question is does he also have a teddy to hold and comfort him in times of distress, and at night?
I'm not being mean. I'm simply stating the obvious. Chaudhry Nisar is a comic figure who has no clue as to the sensitivity of the political situation prevailing in the country. His unconditional offer to the TTP to play a match of cricket to settle scores is not only unbelievable it is insensitive to the point of cruelty. Barbaric Neanderthals who have killed and continue to kill innocent Pakistanis in cold blood are being asked to play games? What kind of diplomacy is this? This is sheer madness or complete giving up of arms in the face an invincible enemy. Since the inception of this government, the Interior Minister has been unaware, unintelligent of acute state secrets and stances and has constantly piped a diametrically opposite tune than the government. My question is – is he on board the kitchen cabinet? Apparently not, so what purpose is he serving if any at all?
Is he in place to provide humor and comic relief? while his chief remained silent on the position and the sacrifices of the army in withholding the Taliban threat, he also remained mum. And whenever there is a vacuum someone or something comes in to fill it. So Altaf Bhai of the Karachi mafia fame said what the Interior Minister or the Prime Minister should have said! That we are all behind the Pak forces and repose all confidence in them. But, then such wisdom is beyond our Mr.Bean.
Another important issue is that of his toupee. Why does a man of his age and position make a mockery of himself by flopping that piece of shaggy rug on his head? Each time I see the man on TV giving an interview I am at the end of my thethers, I am nervous and clenching my hands – lest the bloody thing flies away or falls down revealing god knows what! Why do sub-continental men of withering age have to resort to such pathetic tricks to hide their age. Do they seriously believe even for a second that they are able to fool others? I mean does Mr.Nisar actually believe that his wrinkled and haggard face is in sync with his full and blackest of hair mop? I doubt it somehow. But then I've always been cynic.