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Our personal battles

War, battles, fights, conflicts, disagreements, arguments, indecisions, doubt, fear, absloute blankness. There is a macrocosom for staging wars and then there is a microcosom for battles that we fight every existing moment. What constitutes these battles? who might one fight within ourselves? Perhaps our own demons, our own half-truths, our own misgivings, our own doubts. I want to meet a man who has not faced these dilemmas of life, is there a person, be it man or woman, who hasn't faced these hours of crises. What is it that some conquer these fears and emerge victorious and who are those that succumb to the monsters of their own imaginings.

A battle between good and evil is the ultimate archetype. A valiant hero who demolishes the dragon is embedded in our sub-concious, courage, justice, temperance, truth and honor are virtues we universally admire and hopefully vie for. We are innately drawn to heroes who slay the monsters, climbs the highest mountains, traverses vast distances, swims across the deepest seas and yet keeps hope. Hope of reaching his destination, hope of getting what he is looking for, hope for defining what it may be that he is yearning for.

We are in this literal sense no heroes. Our lives are mundane to state the obvious. We have no Evil incarnate, an identifiable Villian to fight and ravish. We live ordinary lives, villians are not on the outside, usually they are not very obvious, the fight is not very clear, the fact that we need to fight any battles isn't even lucid. The monsters are within us, our battles are not with another person generally, they are with our own thoughts. We fight the greatest of battles in silence, in the darkness of our souls, in the crevices of every thought, in the thumping of every heart beat. There are never any laurels for winning, they are no cheering crowds to welcome the warriors home, they are perhaps no transparently clear victories or losses. We are left wondering whether we have finished fighting or are we still at war, we don't even know at times if we have won. These revelations come later and their forms are varied. If we have fought with grace it transforms our characters, we begin to ascend, albiet slowly, the ladder to self actulization..in simple terms we learn to learn form our travails, we transcend from a lower to a higher state of being and become better people. If we lose the battles we become hollow, if we give up before we start to fight we become distressted and frustrated. Losing, giving up, feeling sorry for one self, alienating one's issues all end up showing in who we are as people. We turn sour. Our expressions become tense, our body stiffens and assumes an odd posture. Our stance becomes rigid and we gradually lose the ability to think rightly and in propotion.

I feel we must take the journey within, and whatever we are battling with, for there is always one things or another, we must think from our head and decide from our heart.

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