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The Perfect Talk Show

Being an anchor you always try your best to get the most prominent guests in your show. Depending on the situation sometimes you have to request them and at times it’s the other way round. This morning I had a chance to watch Imran Khan and Khawaja Asif deliver their speeches in the National Assembly. Even though in the near future at least, our viewers will not be able to see these two gentle men in the same talk show side by side but just for the sake of imagination if they were sitting in the same program I presume this is the discussion we may hear:

Imran Khan: Mian sb gave a hopeless speech in the National Assembly. He never answered the 7 questions that the combined opposition put forward. Hopeless, absolutely hopeless. Kya aisay banay ga Naya Pakistan?

Anchor: No Sir, but lets give a chance to Khawaja sb …

Khawaja Asif: O koi Sharam hoti hai ….

Anchor: Khawaja sb, this is a talk show not the assembly

Khawaja Asif: Oh Sorry, I forgot. Shaukat Khanum Hospital needs to be investigated. Imran Khan is hiding something.

Anchor: Khawaja sb, this is what Imran Khan recommended that SKMH should also be investigated.

Khawaja Asif: Hain, Acha? Oye koi Sharam hoti hai ……

Anchor: Khawaja sb, why do you keep repeating this?

Khawaja Asif: This helps me gather my thoughts. Anyways, Imran Khan is the father of off-shore companies.

Anchor: Imran Khan has also presented himself for investigation. Can you please talk a little bit about the Sharif’s off shore companies?

Khawaja Asif: Nawaz Sharif brought Metro in Pakistan. Do you have any idea what is a Metro. A Metro is a bus in the day time and an automatic roti maker at night. It transports the poor and also feeds them. O koi Sharam Hoti hai ….

Anchor: Khawaja sb, you are not answering the question. Anyways, Khan sb, why didn’t you tell the public that you also had an off shore company?

Imran Khan:  Bikkay bhi to kitnay sastay main bikkay ! I have won the World Cup. I introduced neutral umpires in Cricket and you are asking me about an off shore company. Brief case journalist!

Anchor: But Sir, what does your cricketing achievement have anything to do with your tax saving schemes?

Imran Khan: Nojawanon !!

Anchor: Sir, this is a studio …

Imran Khan: I know that, our youth is also present in the studio. That cameraman looks quite young.

Anchor: Sir, he is at least 50 years old.

Imran Khan: Exactly, that means he is young. I can still run 5 km in 25 mins. Anyone who can do that is a youngster.

Anchor: Sir, the question regarding off shore companies

Imran Khan: I had everything in my life. I have seen so many billions that even my tree plantation scheme starts with a billion. Nawaz Sharif took billions out of Pakistan and we are planting billion trees in KPK. Kaisa?

Anchor: Khawaja sb, how will you satisfy the opposition?

Imran Khan interrupts: Khawaja Asif doesn’t even know how to reconcile with Ch Nisar, how will he reconcile with the opposition? Mian sb, Jaan Davo, Sadi Vari Aan Davo

Khawaja Asif: O koi Sharam hoti hai ….

Anchor: Yes Sir, Koi Haya Hoti Hai … Thank you very much for bearing with us viewers. Till next time, Allah Hafiz !!

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