A lockdown lesson for desi husbands and dads
Since this coronavirus pandemic hit everyone of us, life is no more the same..
Spending time at home 24/7 has really become a challenge now. Keeping aside the severity of the situation, many people are making and sending jokes and memes on quarantine life.
Indeed it is a difficult time and this shall too pass Insha Allah.
Many of the memes and jokes are based on husbands who are at home 24/7 and wives consider them as the most challenging baby of the house. It is said that behind every joke, there is some truth.
I think this is definitely one of those jokes which struck the right chord of the harsh reality of some desi husbands.
Some desi husbands are trained in such a way that they think their only job is at office. Once they are back to home, they get into attire of the most spoiled baby of the house.
They think wives should never ask them to help and not even for babysitting. I think this is where everything is wrong with their training and mentality. If by any chance, they help, they want to be crowned for that tiny assistance.
Men don’t need special praise for doing the bare minimum of parenting in “watching” or “babysitting” their own kids. They need to understand that helping or babysitting at home is not a favour but it is part of parenting.
It definitely strengthens the bond between spouses and between father and kids. I am, by no means, a radical feminist. I respect and give value to man who is the breadwinner of the family. I respect and know Islamic rights and values.
By help, I don’t expect man to cook or teach kids or to change their diapers. Since he comes back to home tired and he needs to be taken care of, what I expect from him is the realization of the never ending work for lady of the house especially if she is a mother.
He just needs to help by playing with kids, assisting them in home work if required, be able to fetch a glass of water (for his own self atleast) or making tea (if wife is not well or too tired).
I am glad that many notions have already changed in our society and now numerous men are changing themselves especially when both spouses are working. Sadly it is mere a small percentage and most of the men still need to respect, appreciate and help their wives at home.
The stigma of being called a “henpecked husband” is still prevalent in our society and men think helping in homes can lose their ‘male value’.
To bring a constructive change in our society, mothers need to teach their sons that helping and appreciating wives is virtue of a valuable man. When this kind of husband-hood and fatherhood becomes the norm, the comments regarding “henpecked husbands” would stop themselves because this just won’t be a surprise anymore.
In all honesty, this won’t happen overnight. This generation of fathers and husbands might just have to take the knock on the chin, but that might mean our sons won’t have to.
Frankly, our desi moms are already talking the knock on their chins since forever.
Amid this hard time of pandemic, men need to aim higher for the sake of their families. They need to realize that they are not helping but parenting.